Reading on Just Lisa how my fellow blogger was wrestling with whether to “go natural” with her hair got me thinking (again) how non-European features are rarely celebrated in our culture, which can make it difficult for women of color to embrace their true selves.
In at least three recent conversations with white friends, someone has remarked on the perfection and attractiveness of a newborn baby by exclaiming “She’s got blonde hair and blue eyes!” Flaxen hair and light eyes can be very beautiful, but there is something about the way the statement is made, as if these features alone always bestow beauty on a person. Sort of, “Of course the baby is beautiful, it has blonde hair and blue eyes.” I understand that these qualities are prized by mainstream Western society. But what of the baby that is as brown as a chocolate drop with a shock of soft, kinky hair and brown eyes? And what about the adult that baby becomes? Where is the praise for other types of beauty? I have never heard anyone—black or white—exclaim: “She’s beautiful. She has a mass of nappy hair and honey brown skin! She has big lips and intricate cornrows! She’s got a wide nose and deep brown eyes! She’s got smooth blue-black skin and a brilliant smile!
I’ve heard enough from other women of color—Asian, Hispanic, Native American—to know they often feel the same exclusion when attractiveness, especially female beauty is discussed.
I found these two videos on You Tube. I was drawn to them, because they display a reverence and appreciation for black beauty that is rare. I hope you enjoy them as I do.
8 comments:
Tami,
Great post. I hope in the future you will post more on this subject.
"She has a mass of nappy hair and honey brown skin! She has big lips and intricate cornrows! She’s got a wide nose and deep brown eyes! She’s got smooth blue-black skin and a brilliant smile!"
This passage is really so true and yet I've never really thought about it. Although I do find very dark people especially attractive. I'm thankful for that about me. I never understood the jokes about dark- complected kids when I was little.
Thanks
Hey Tami,
I believe that it depends on how people carry themselves and how they promote the beauty that they embrace. For example, when I was a kid I had low self esteem because I was picked on a lot and made fun of by a lot of different people. Yet, when I got older and became more empowered I began to promote myself as a good example of a handsome man. When I began to not just think about myself, but also promote it people from other ethnic groups felt the same.
I remember once a Euro-American woman once told me that she had always wanted to have brown or dark skin. I told her that if I could sell it in a bottle to her I would, but it is a trade secret. I used to tell many of Euro-American friends that brown is in season. Whenever there were conversations of beauty I always promoted those things that are beautiful to me.
I also think with blogs there is now a tool to do such kind of promotion. Also the terminology sometimes used by African Americans may lend itself to negative images. I personally, don't think to highly of the word nappy. For me hair is hair. Instead of big lips, lips.
I also promoted the idea that when people of light brown to darker hues age their skin tones hold up better. I think it is all about promotion, just as your videos show.
MDC,
Thanks. This is an issue that interests me, so I'll definitely be writing more about it.
Ehav,
You're right. I think the problem is that so many black people have absorbed the notion that Euro features are better that we are not good promoters of our beautiful black selves.
A lot of people don't care for the word "nappy," but I embrace it. It is only a negative if tightly coiled, kinky hair is negative, and I say it is not.
By the way, thanks for stopping by. I enjoy reading your comments on your blog and MDC's blog. You always have something thoughtful to add. I am happy to have you contributing to the conversation on my site.
Hey Tami,
Glad to be commenting on your blog. Thanks for your kind words.
In terms of the wordy Nappy. My problem is not with the what the word is used to describe. My problem is with the word itself as an Adjective. For me hair is hair. Tightly coiled hair to me is just hair. Straight hair is just hair. Wavy hair is hair. Corn rows = hair. Braids = hair. All good hair to me.
My problem is with using the Adjective "nappy" to describe it. All hair, that is clean, is good hair to me no matter whose head it is on.
It may be because I am a guy, and most guys (that I am around) don't much get into hair adjectives. Then again that is me.
All this over me??? :) Thanks for the post. I still haven't made a decision - but the information/insight I've been given is invaluable. Great post - and I LOVE the video!
Lisa,
Yeah, I couldn't stop looking at that video!
Again, another great topic and something I can relate to personally. I have been natural since 2001 and have often fought against my internalization of eurocentric standards of beauty. I am just now 34 (HBTM!) and it is still a time of learning. It is very hard not to go along with family members who extol our lighter members. It helps that my gma always shared how her siblings ridiculed her for being the darkest one and having to straighten her hair with a fork--as theirs was already straight. My gma is very light-skinned with curly hair, but she was still stigmatized by those 'whiter' than her. So she herself dated everybody under the sun! Needless to say, our branch of the fam was a little ostracized from hers. Whatever, their loss.
But as much as I love my gma for that, when I went natural, she talked about me bad. Kept asking when I was going to do something with my hair, etc. Actually, so did the rest of my family! But they have come around, though it's usually, "Tish is gonna do what she wants anyway, so..."
Also, I don't like the term nappy either. White folks turned it into a bad word for me, and I don't want to take it back like folks want to do the N word. I say textured hair. Because so many of us (like me) have so many different textures on one head, that one seems more appropriate.
Oh, and I love love love my textured hair. Never will I perm again. It gives me such a sense of pride and self. I don't even want to straighten it in other ways--no pressing or flat ironing either. I just let it do what it do!
It helps me focus on other types of beauty not european--and not mine. So I can find the beauty in other races or ethnicities, because my hair has opened me up to such. Sounds weird, but I hope it comes across right.
TMJ--Thank you for sharing your story. I agree, I can't imagine going back to straightening. I am in love with my natural hair! All my girlfriends who have gone natural have described it as "empowering."
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